To give or not to give...

     She caught me off guard, and she was crying hysterically. Her naturally brown face was aged by the years and her open, crying mouth had little proof that teeth once resided there. She smelled of alcohol and was moving very quickly towards me. With tears in her eyes and agony in her voice, in a loud scream- like begging voice she said to me, " Do you have any change for me? Oh, God, do you have any change at all?"...
     It was late and I had just come out of the store. I was putting my keys in the ignition and was shocked when I heard a loud tap on my car window. He was asking me for change. I wasn't rolling down my window. I waved him off. I was irritated...
     I was getting Little Caesar's five dollar pizzas for the family, it was a rainy Friday evening. I was tired. I wanted to get home. The kids were hungry. I had a lot on my mind. The parking lot was crowded. I was turned around in my seat talking to my kids, they were fighting. I was startled when I heard a loud tap on my drivers side window. There she was, wanting me to roll down my window, all up in my window, face almost on the glass. She said, "I'm homeless... I looked at her and put my hand up, basically telling her that I couldn't help her. She looked at me and through the window said, "Wow!". I drove off feeling some kinda way...
     As I walked up, she and a friend were sitting on the ground. They waited until I passed and then asked for some change. I turned around looked in my wallet and handed her a dollar. She looked at it like it was a penny and smirked. I walked away, regretting the giving...

  I have been approached so many times by people asking for money. It doesn't seem to matter where I am. I think I am a beggar magnet. I can't imagine having to beg for money or food. I know it is not an easy thing to do. I'm going to tell on  myself here. I hate when strangers beg me for money, change, food. It really bothers me. I like to give. I consider myself a giving person. However, I think I like to give on  my terms. I don't like feeling obligated, and it's hard to say no to someone when they are just asking for change. Usually everybody has a few coins on them. Am I lying when I say no? Am I being stingy when I only give "the change," they asked for? Is it unchristian of me when I deny them outright? I struggle with this issue.
   Lately I have been trying to figure out what it is I need to do. What is Charissa's responsibility in this matter? What does my heart really say? What does God expect of me? What kind of example do I want to set for my children?
    One main issue that comes up for me is safety. I really don't like grown men approaching me when I am by myself or with my kids. I am a strong woman, so I don't worry that I can't protect myself, I just don't want to have to go there. I also struggle sometimes, because I may have some change, or a few dollars, but I honestly need them. Yes, I have a car and own a home, but there are still times when I am broke or need what I have to provide for my family. There honestly are times, when I feel like I can't just give away my change, because I plan on using the very thing they are asking for in the store they are begging in front of.
     I have given to plenty of people who have asked, but my attitude hasn't been right. I want a right attitude. I think God is more pleased by that than by how much I give. I know he loves these men and women who are struggling with alcohol and drugs and the ones who always need, " bus fare" but never ride the bus. I did decide a few years ago that I wont' give or not give based on what I think they may use the money for. I decided that I don't need to figure that out, it was really just an excuse so I could justify not giving when people asked.
    My husband, the brilliant man that he is told me to just be ready to give. Expect that people are going to ask and have a plan. I'm taking his advice. It's not a grand plan, but it's one that I think will work for me. It's a plan that I think will honor God, set a good example for my children and help me to have a "right attitude" about the whole thing.

    Here is my plan. I am going to make what I call  " O.H. Packs." I practice hospitality when people come to my house, so I will practice hospitality when people come to my car or approach me. The O.H. packs are my,  "Outside Hospitality Packs."
   The Bible talks about giving, (I'm paraphrasing here) it says, " Decide what you will give and then give cheerfully without regret." By creating these packs, I can decide ahead of time and give cheerfully without leaving the situation feeling obligated or angry. I might even begin to enjoy it and, who knows what will come of it.

What will I put in my O.H. packs? Good question. I'm thinking I will use a gallon size ziplock bag and fill it with these items:
 bottled water or juice box
 nuts/ beef jerky/ fruit/
mints/gum
toothbrush/ hand sanitizer
$2.00
maybe a note or something to read

I plan on making 10 O.H. packs a month and being open to giving them away. I'm not sure of everything that will be in them, but I will make them yummy and useful. I hope that the people receiving them will feel loved and valued. I know it's easy sometimes to think that people that beg are "less than," but they aren't they just "have less than we do at the time."