They come in all shapes and sizes, colors and ages. They have similar qualities, they are bold, they are desperate in the moment and they seem to always have a compelling story. They are not afraid to ask for what they want or need. I see them in grocery stores, while getting in my car, at my car window, in parking lots, on corners, near exits. They often want the same thing; a quarter, a dollar, bus fare and gas money.
I admire their boldness in a strange way,it must take a lot of courage to ask a complete stranger for money. However, I guess if you put yourself out there, you may actually get what you ask for. I feel like people are ALWAYS asking me though, and at the oddest times.
Take today for example, my boys wanted to watch a movie tonight and have a little treat. We drove to Walgreen's to get a treat and it was supposed to be a quick visit. However, my three year old had other plans and within minutes of entering the store already had an assortment of goods in his hands, that he was certain I should buy for him. I tried to encourage him to just choose one thing, but he was not having that choice. I decided to choose my battle in the moment and just let him think he was getting them all and have the cashier discreetly hide the items I was not buying. He caught on and was upset and didn't want to move from the store... blah blah blah, it was a little dramatic and he eventually came to the car in a fit. I got him in his car seat and proceeded to get in the driver's seat.
As I was closing the door, I heard someone yelling " excuse me!" remember at this time I just wanted to get home, my three year old is throwing a fit in the back and my head is hurting. I open the door again and here is this grown woman with her little girl that looks to be about two or three years old. She says, " excuse me, do you have two dollars so we can catch the bus?" I have to admit I was really irritated by the request and shook my head and closed the door. She was on the sidewalk above the parking lot, just walking by.
It seemed so odd that she was yelling down to me. She walked away and I looked at my purse I looked up and she was watching me and paused when she saw me look at my purse. I backed up and was struggling in my mind and heart. Yes, I did have two dollars. However, why doesn't she? Why did she leave her house if she couldn't get back? Do I have a responsibility to her? I felt tormented. I always feel obligated to give when someone asks me. I don't like doing things out of obligation. I don't like being asked for money by strangers. I don't like being put on the spot. I don't like to say no.
I thought she is so bold to ask. Why would she ask if she didn't need it? It takes a lot to put yourself out there like that. I pulled out the the parking lot and she was already standing hand in hand with her little girl. The light was red, the crosswalk said walk. She and her daughter walked. I didn't have two dollars. I only had a five and ten dollar bill. I pulled out the five, and as she walked passed me in the crosswalk I said " excuse me ma'am, I had to say it loud and a few times. I waived the five out the window, she came and got it smiled and said thanks. I watched her walk, but she didn't seem to be going toward a bus stop. Who knows? Did she really need it? Obviously. For the bus? Not sure. I really don't care what she spent it on. However, I don't like lying or false advertisements.
A few months back I started making my O.H packs, these were my Outside Hospitality packs. I made those to deal with my struggle in this area. They were kind of a middle ground for me. I put some snacks, a bottle of water and a few dollars in ziplock bags and then gave them out when people asked me for money. They worked well. Then I made more.Then I needed some money to make some more (lol) and had to pause on that for a minute. I haven't made any in a while.
I know I have to do something because I feel like I am an " ask her" magnet. I want to have a good attitude when I give to these people who ask me, but I usually don't, because I'm often caught off guard and not thinking about meeting other people's financial needs in the parking lot. So, forgive me, I just struggle in this issues with other humans and the neediness. I'm needy too, but I don't have that same boldness to put it out there like these folks I have met.
I want to either be able to say "no" with a nice conviction, or " yes" with a smile and a good heart. I will ask God to help me. I'm really torn.
I think often of this scripture from the Bible when I am faced with my giving dilemma.
But Peter said, “I have no silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk!”
According to this scripture. As a believer in Jesus, I always have something to give. I want to embrace the giving of life and share my monetary resources when I am able to do so. I also want to share God's love. I have so much to learn and layers of stubbornness for God to work through in my life, but I do want him to do it, at least most of the time. I also would like a little chunk of the boldness I see in these strangers that are always asking me for money. Some of them may already know the love of God, and some may not. I know that a reminder is always nice either way.
Lord give me the grace to love and share your love with others. Help me to have a good attitude in the process. Your will be done. Bless the giver and the receiver. Amen!
I admire their boldness in a strange way,it must take a lot of courage to ask a complete stranger for money. However, I guess if you put yourself out there, you may actually get what you ask for. I feel like people are ALWAYS asking me though, and at the oddest times.
Take today for example, my boys wanted to watch a movie tonight and have a little treat. We drove to Walgreen's to get a treat and it was supposed to be a quick visit. However, my three year old had other plans and within minutes of entering the store already had an assortment of goods in his hands, that he was certain I should buy for him. I tried to encourage him to just choose one thing, but he was not having that choice. I decided to choose my battle in the moment and just let him think he was getting them all and have the cashier discreetly hide the items I was not buying. He caught on and was upset and didn't want to move from the store... blah blah blah, it was a little dramatic and he eventually came to the car in a fit. I got him in his car seat and proceeded to get in the driver's seat.
As I was closing the door, I heard someone yelling " excuse me!" remember at this time I just wanted to get home, my three year old is throwing a fit in the back and my head is hurting. I open the door again and here is this grown woman with her little girl that looks to be about two or three years old. She says, " excuse me, do you have two dollars so we can catch the bus?" I have to admit I was really irritated by the request and shook my head and closed the door. She was on the sidewalk above the parking lot, just walking by.
It seemed so odd that she was yelling down to me. She walked away and I looked at my purse I looked up and she was watching me and paused when she saw me look at my purse. I backed up and was struggling in my mind and heart. Yes, I did have two dollars. However, why doesn't she? Why did she leave her house if she couldn't get back? Do I have a responsibility to her? I felt tormented. I always feel obligated to give when someone asks me. I don't like doing things out of obligation. I don't like being asked for money by strangers. I don't like being put on the spot. I don't like to say no.
I thought she is so bold to ask. Why would she ask if she didn't need it? It takes a lot to put yourself out there like that. I pulled out the the parking lot and she was already standing hand in hand with her little girl. The light was red, the crosswalk said walk. She and her daughter walked. I didn't have two dollars. I only had a five and ten dollar bill. I pulled out the five, and as she walked passed me in the crosswalk I said " excuse me ma'am, I had to say it loud and a few times. I waived the five out the window, she came and got it smiled and said thanks. I watched her walk, but she didn't seem to be going toward a bus stop. Who knows? Did she really need it? Obviously. For the bus? Not sure. I really don't care what she spent it on. However, I don't like lying or false advertisements.
A few months back I started making my O.H packs, these were my Outside Hospitality packs. I made those to deal with my struggle in this area. They were kind of a middle ground for me. I put some snacks, a bottle of water and a few dollars in ziplock bags and then gave them out when people asked me for money. They worked well. Then I made more.Then I needed some money to make some more (lol) and had to pause on that for a minute. I haven't made any in a while.
I know I have to do something because I feel like I am an " ask her" magnet. I want to have a good attitude when I give to these people who ask me, but I usually don't, because I'm often caught off guard and not thinking about meeting other people's financial needs in the parking lot. So, forgive me, I just struggle in this issues with other humans and the neediness. I'm needy too, but I don't have that same boldness to put it out there like these folks I have met.
I want to either be able to say "no" with a nice conviction, or " yes" with a smile and a good heart. I will ask God to help me. I'm really torn.
I think often of this scripture from the Bible when I am faced with my giving dilemma.
But Peter said, “I have no silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk!”
According to this scripture. As a believer in Jesus, I always have something to give. I want to embrace the giving of life and share my monetary resources when I am able to do so. I also want to share God's love. I have so much to learn and layers of stubbornness for God to work through in my life, but I do want him to do it, at least most of the time. I also would like a little chunk of the boldness I see in these strangers that are always asking me for money. Some of them may already know the love of God, and some may not. I know that a reminder is always nice either way.
Lord give me the grace to love and share your love with others. Help me to have a good attitude in the process. Your will be done. Bless the giver and the receiver. Amen!
