He used to call it his "cooper" and we all knew he was talking about his "scooter", but we thought it was so cute, so we would call it a " cooper" too. Then one day, he called it a "scooter" he actually learned the correct name and wanted to use it. We kept trying to call it a " cooper" cause we still thought it was cute and he only just turned three so he could still use his own made up words for things.
However, he said, " No! It's not a cooper, it's a SCOOTER!" We were a bit taken aback, because well, we wanted to keep saying " cooper", but he set us straight. My little son is growing up, and he wants us to grow up with him. It's funny and cute but it also made me think.
My son didn't realize that he was using the wrong name for his scooter, he really believed it was a cooper, and that was what he wanted to call it. However, one day a little light went on in his brain and it was all clear to him, he had a Scooter! A " cooper" was a "scooter". And, he grabbed the new name and shouted it proudly. We wanted to stop him, because we wanted him to stay cute and little, and for some reason it's fun to talk a little baby talk once in a while (I'm not sure why, but it just is) Anyways, we wanted him, for our sake to hold onto his old name, but he was ready to move on.
I'm sure if we kept calling his "scooter" a " cooper" he would have kept getting annoyed with us. He was certain at this point that it was a scooter. It's possible we could have worn him down and just kept calling it a "cooper" and maybe he would have begun to second guess himself, or just go with the flow for the sake of keeping everyone happy.
So, I then began to think about myself and others. I began to think about how change is difficult and sometimes shameful because we have to admit that something we thought, or did, was off base, wrong or didn't really groove with who we are. We all have our own rhythm that we groove to in this life. Sometimes we are dancing to a song that has us way off beat and it's obvious that we need to sit that one out, but we keep on dancing insisting that this is " our song" and that "we do know what we are doing". We can look back at those times and see that we were misnaming ourselves.
When a person begins to change their rhythm it can sometimes throw others off too. Our little clique, or family gets used to how we do things and they build their rhythm around our rhythm and it's kind of a domino effect. Sometimes those closest to us, can't handle our change, they can't handle that we realize that we were off beat or misnaming things or that we can admit to our foolishness.
It creates a new rhythm and it causes others to have to dance to your new beat, or with the same power, try to convince you that your old rhythm was perfect and tell you lies to keep you from messing with their rhytm. Ultimately afraid that your change if going to affect them, and they may have to change as well..
I have had to change my rhythm a lot in life. I have had to adjust to new beats and look back and see myself dancing to some songs I should have sat out on. I know it's been hard for people around me to adjust, but also been good. I often see people wanting to breakout of their old routine, but people around them seem to rush to put them back on the dance floor.
It's selfish of us to stop people from growing, and changing and recognizing their mistakes. However, at the same time, it is very difficult to change, and sometimes it's painful to watch others change, even when it's good, because it makes our rhythm get off beat. It would be wise if we make two rows and let those who need to change their rhythm walk through the " soul train boogie down line of support" and let them dance their way to freedom and new things.
I'm glad my son is growing up, even though it means my youngest isn't really a baby anymore. It's sad for me, and it's also a time of joy. He's coming into his own, he' learning new things, he's making his little decisions and in turn that frees me up a little to do some more things.
In the end we both win, we both get to grow and we both get a little more freedom. I want to be a bridge for those wanting to change, not a dam. Let's keep the music flowing, even if it means we go from R&B to country, Classical to Heavy metal. For every rhythm there is a season.
