Because of who you are...

I threw a fit the other day. I'm glad I was alone in the dark car, because if anyone saw me, I'm sure they would have been wondering what was wrong with me. This week has been long and I have studied math more in the last few weeks than I have my entire life. I am really trying to do everything that I can to pass my math class.

I received a call the other day from a friend, and she was sharing some things that God had put on her heart. She really encouraged me by what she was sharing. She was talking about how, everyday we have a new opportunity to praise God. Each and every day God's grace and mercy are new for us. When we go through hard times, we need to remember it's not all about us. We need to stay focused and praise God daily.

I agreed with her and we talked a little more then we got off the phone. The next day I was coming home from getting some math help from a friend. My kids had been home all day, because they were sick. I was trying to hurry back home, so my husband could leave and do what he needed to do. I decided to stop by the store to pick up a roasted chicken, to make dinner easy. I ran in and went through the self-checkout. After I had rung my items up, I realized that I didn't have my wallet. I was frustrated, because I wanted something easy for dinner, and I was hungry and tired.

I looked in my purse and pulled out my checkbook. I wrote the check and was feeling relieved until the cashier asked for my  license, I thought I wouldn't need it at the self-checkout. I was wrong. She wouldn't take my check and I was frustrated again. I ran out in the cold rain to my car. I got in, turned the key and guess what ? My car wouldn't start. I tried a few more times and it still wouldn't start. I was even more frustrated. I was wondering , why is this happening? I'm tired. I''m hungry. My husband is waiting for me to come home. I have homework to do. I 'm cold. I  just don't need this. I hate this car.... I was thinking a  lot of things, and none of them were joyful.

I called my dad, cause he knows what to do in situations like these. However, the solution he gave me, was not what I was expecting to hear. He said, " Praise God Charissa." I said, " why?" He said, " just take a few deep breaths, calm down and give God some praise." I told him, that I didn't want to praise God right now, I just wanted my car to start, plus why would I praise God for this. I was talking to him and telling him how much I didn't need this to be happening right now. He told me to just do what he said and my car would start, he was kind of laughing at me, because I was so frustrated by his suggestion. He told me to call him after I praised God.

I hung up the phone and was not very happy. I told God, that I thought it was ridiculous to praise him for my car being broke down in the parking lot of Alberston's on this cold rainy night. I told God what my plans were and how this was ruining them. I told God, how tired and hungry and annoyed I was. I was stomping my feet as I was talking to God and wiggling my body in irritation, this was my fit. I was mad my dad told me to do this. I love God, I praise him, but not for things like this.

As I was having my temper tantrum with God, I felt myself relax a little. I knew there was truth to what my dad was saying, but it just seemed so out of place. What was there to praise God for right now? I continued to tell God, almost sarcastically why I wasn't going to praise him right now. I told him that I wasn't thankful that my car broke down or that I was cold etc...That lasted for about five minutes. I then was more calm and I started telling God what I loved about him, just a few words and I told him that I couldn't praise him for my broke down car, but I would praise him that he even though my car wasn't working, didn't change the fact that he was still reliable, and I thanked him that my situation didn't change his love for me. I thanked him, that he was still faithful even though I was struggling.

I then tried to start my car, my dad said that if I took some deep breaths and praised God, that my car would start. It didn't start. I called my dad and said, " there I did what you said, and my car didn't start!" he said, " praise God some more."  We got off the phone. It hit me then, that I still had an attitude and I wanted God to be a genie for me. I wanted him to be instant and under my control. I wanted him to be convenient. I told  God all these things. I confessed my desire for him to be a quick fix and I confessed how rebellious I felt towards him. I told God, that I was ashamed of how hard it was for me to praise him, when I didn't feel like it, when I didn't feel he was worthy of any praise, because he put me in this inconvenient situation.

Wow! was what I was thinking as I heard myself talking to God. I am pretty shallow here, I thought. I only praise God when things are easy. I don't think I love God as much as I trick myself into thinking I do. I began to give God some real praise, truth from my heart, not just words. I sang a few worship songs and felt a great peace. I turned the ignition and the car started. I called my dad, and he was not surprised. I drove home.

I am so thankful that God cares enough about me, loves me enough to teach me hard lessons. I really believe that  God set that situation up. He needed my attention, and I have been so busy. He got my attention and I was humbled. That time in the car has changed me, and I know it's just the start. I have a lot more lessons to learn. I am so grateful that my God is willing to go there with me and show me my deficits, while still loving me and showing me his grace and mercy.

I realize I need to praise God, because of who HE is, not based on how I'm feeling or what's going on in the atmosphere, but because He doesn't change based on the atmosphere. He is faithful, steadfast, holy, patient, caring, loving and a bunch  more things. So, I praise him because he is always who he is, regardless of what may be going on in my little world.